by Max Barry

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The Gargantuanness of Bezo

“We are unfortunately still here” The Gigapresident

Category: Democratic Socialists
Civil Rights:
Excellent
Economy:
Fragile
Political Freedoms:
Excellent

Regional Influence: Hermit

Location: Bezonica

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Bezo

Population40.395 billion

CapitalNew New New Egopolis
LeaderThe Gigapresident
FaithEvangelical Nihilism

Currencypotato
AnimalGenetically Engineered Supershark

The Gargantuanness of Bezo is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by The Gigapresident with a fair hand, and renowned for its smutty television, national health service, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, democratic, humorless population of 40.395 billion Bezoans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New New New Egopolis. The income tax rate is 100%.

The enormous but sluggish Bezoan economy, worth a remarkable 3,292 trillion potatoes a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is mostly comprised of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 81,501 potatoes, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Citizens are bleary-eyed after staying up all night with a good book (Bezo has found 4 easter eggs), violently opinionated speakers can be heard preaching their hateful views on every street corner, vaccinations are mandatory, and the new national campaign exhorts men to "Show Some Class - Don't Sit On Your Ass". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bezo's national animal is the Genetically Engineered Supershark, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Evangelical Nihilism.

Bezo is ranked 474th in the world and 1st in Bezonica for Lowest Crime Rates, with 199.53 law-abiding acts per hour.

Top
1%
Safest: 194thHighest Average Tax Rates: 387thLargest Governments: 398thLowest Crime Rates: 474thMost Pacifist: 756thLargest Populations: 1,153rdMost Advanced Public Transport: 1,669thTop
5%
Most Popular Tourist Destinations: 3,440thHealthiest Citizens: 4,994thLongest Average Lifespans: 6,092ndLargest Welfare Programs: 6,481stMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 7,529thSmartest Citizens: 8,039thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 9,519thMost Income Equality: 10,446thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 12,793rdTop
10%
Most Secular: 21,134th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Bezo, the new national campaign exhorts men to "Show Some Class - Don't Sit On Your Ass".
  • : Bezo was reclassified from "Scandinavian Liberal Paradise" to "Democratic Socialists".
  • : Bezo was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Valuable International Artwork.
  • : Bezo changed its national animal to "Genetically Engineered Supershark", its capital to "New New New Egopolis", its faith to "Evangelical Nihilism", its leader to "The Gigapresident", its motto to "We are unfortunately still here", and its nation type to "Gargantuanness".
  • : Bezo changed its national currency to "potato".
  • : Following new legislation in Bezo, vaccinations are mandatory.
  • : Following new legislation in Bezo, violently opinionated speakers can be heard preaching their hateful views on every street corner.
  • : Bezo was reclassified from "Democratic Socialists" to "Scandinavian Liberal Paradise".
  • : Following new legislation in Bezo, citizens are bleary-eyed after staying up all night with a good book (Bezo has found 4 easter eggs).
  • : Bezo was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Popular Tourist Destinations.

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