The Not So Holy Red Blue Utopias of Bodegraven is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by His Royal Highness Angus Postma with a fair hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, smutty television, and otherworldly petting zoo. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 35.602 billion Bodegravenaren hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, liberal, outspoken morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Greater Bodegraven. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Bodegraafsch economy, worth a remarkable 7,601 trillion BodegravenGuldens a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 213,502 BodegravenGuldens, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Hostage-takers offer loyalty scheme points for prompt payment, pareidolic SETI scientists swear there's a message from aliens hidden within pi, citizens are exhausted from weekly general elections, and being His Royal Highness Angus Postma has been voted one of the top ten most dangerous jobs. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bodegraven's national animal is the Freckled Cow, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Agnostic Theism.

Bodegraven is ranked 310,856^th in the world and 6^th in Global Right Alliance for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -49.64 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.