The Particularly Grand Duchy of Caffeinneburg is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Archduke Mister Chris VI with an iron fist, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, sprawling nuclear power plants, and strictly enforced bedtime. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 46.735 billion Caffeinneburgians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The relatively small government prioritizes Defense, although Healthcare, Environment, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Spirituality and Public Transport aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Caffeinneburg City. The average income tax rate is 28.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The very strong Caffeinneburgian economy, worth a remarkable 2,454 trillion orichalks a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is mostly comprised of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 52,523 orichalks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Parents live in fear of governmental 'child protection' squads, the government is spending billions of taxpayer orichalks to support the Uranium Mining industry, fewer people are bathing as citizens must show ration stamps before they can turn on their faucets, and Caffeinneburg's soft-touch approach to diplomacy has made it known as the 'push-over' of the region. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Caffeinneburg's national animal is the alzabo, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Caffeinneburg is ranked 29,806^th in the world and 14^th in North America for Safest, scoring 109.3 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.