The Socialist Republic of Central Slavia is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Generalissimus Igor Plevňák with an iron fist, and notable for its public floggings, smutty television, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 31.547 billion Central Slavians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nové Partizánske. The average income tax rate is 98.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Central Slavian economy, worth a remarkable 5,222 trillion toliars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 165,545 toliars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The derisively named "Morlocks of Moria" futilely demand time in the sun, attendance of fathers at PTA meetings is at an all-time high, sales of disinfectant wipes have skyrocketed, and life-saving resuscitation is denied based on decades-old teenage diaries that declare "I want to die before I get old". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Central Slavia's national animal is the lynx, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is atheism.

Central Slavia is ranked 11,960^th in the world and 1^st in Sarsanach for Most Beautiful Environments, with 1,425.26 pounds of wildlife per square mile.