The United King's Kingdom of Cond Moc is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Chesterbelloc and My Pyloric Valve with an even hand, and renowned for its frequent executions, compulsory military service, and public floggings. The devout population of 2.03 billion Chestertonians are prohibited from doing almost everything but make sure no one in government gets away with anything either.

The large, moralistic, socially-minded government is primarily concerned with Spirituality, although Law & Order, Education, and Defense are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of French Quarter in the White Downs. The average income tax rate is 47.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but underdeveloped Chestertonian economy, worth 65.5 trillion acres a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Furniture Restoration, and Uranium Mining. Average income is 32,286 acres, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Hell is not always other people, Church of the Star Maker has been named as Cond Moc's national religion, many aides in Chesterbelloc and My Pyloric Valve's office are known to be serial jaywalkers, and Chesterbelloc and My Pyloric Valve has just been declared ruler of Cond Moc in an international press conference. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cond Moc's national animal is the owl, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Church of the Star Maker.

Cond Moc is ranked 185,654^th in the world and 5^th in Windswept Depths of Pandemonium for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring zero on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.