The Republic of Conservative Dixie is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by Tom O'Brian with an even hand, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, compulsory gun ownership, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 8.199 billion Conservative Dixieans are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Gatlinburg. The average income tax rate is 16.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Conservative Dixiean economy, worth 858 trillion Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Trout Farming, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 104,725 Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

Knowing the capital of Bigtopia is cause for public shaming, frequent fliers are obliged to submit to invasive security procedures by government security, scientific journals publish third-graders' school essays, and hot dogs have been renamed lukewarm pigs. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Conservative Dixie's national animal is the Bassett Hound, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

Conservative Dixie is ranked 21,263^rd in the world and 1^st in The New Moderate Alliance for Most Cultured, scoring 86 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.