The Empire of Crazy Firemen is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Firefighter Clemente with a fair hand, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, hatred of cheese, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, democratic, humorless, devout population of 30.066 billion Crazy Firemenians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt morass — juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Seagrave. The average income tax rate is 96.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Crazy Firemenian economy, worth a remarkable 4,640 trillion Brotherhoods a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Tourism. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 154,329 Brotherhoods, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Polygraphs are relegated to the dungeon exhibit in castle museums, small businesses are gobbled up almost daily by corporate giants, citizens have to stick a fork into an electrical outlet to get a buzz, and Firefighter Clemente steals from the rich and gives to the needy. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Crazy Firemen's national animal is the Phoenix, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Church of the Rising Phoenix.

Crazy Firemen is ranked 290,149^th in the world and 7,137^th in the Rejected Realms for Nicest Citizens, with 0.2 average smiles per day.