The Empire of Crazy Firemen is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Firefighter Clemente with an even hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, ubiquitous missile silos, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, democratic, humorless, devout population of 31.593 billion Crazy Firemenians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Seagrave. The average income tax rate is 96.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Crazy Firemenian economy, worth a remarkable 4,753 trillion Brotherhoods a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 150,460 Brotherhoods, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Shops were recently ransacked as cigarettes returned to the shelves, the running costs of homeless shelters are so high that it would be cheaper to buy houses for the homeless, eating kids as food has been enshrined in law, and frightened witnesses and seriously ill jurors wear the same handcuffs as the defendant. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Crazy Firemen's national animal is the Phoenix, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Church of the Rising Phoenix.

Crazy Firemen is ranked 329,069^th in the world and 4,969^th in the Rejected Realms for Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry, scoring -26.34 on the Tasmanian Pulp Environmental Export Index.