by Max Barry

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The Empire of Crazy Firemen

“We Ride Together, We Die Together” Firefighter Clemente

Category: Liberal Democratic Socialists
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Apprentice

Location: the Rejected Realms


Crazy Firemen

Population21.889 billion

LeaderFirefighter Clemente
FaithChurch of the Rising Phoenix


The Empire of Crazy Firemen is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Firefighter Clemente with a fair hand, and notable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, hatred of cheese, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, democratic, humorless, devout population of 21.889 billion Crazy Firemenians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, outspoken morass — juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Seagrave. The average income tax rate is 95.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Crazy Firemenian economy, worth a remarkable 3,388 trillion Brotherhoods a year, is highly specialized and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Information Technology. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 154,806 Brotherhoods, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

The government loves seeing the little people fight, signs at the border tell international drivers where they can put their cars, employers are keenest on employees who lack family values, and the sound of office water cooler chatter has been replaced by the whirring of computer cooling fans. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Crazy Firemen's national animal is the Phoenix, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Church of the Rising Phoenix.

Crazy Firemen is ranked 7,675th in the world and 191st in the Rejected Realms for Most Developed, scoring 91.35 on the Human Development Index.

Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 107thMost Subsidized Industry: 829thLargest Black Market: 1,303rdMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,576thTop
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 2,891stMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 2,968thHighest Economic Output: 3,442ndMost Influential: 3,919thLowest Crime Rates: 4,000thHighest Average Tax Rates: 4,056thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 4,100thMost Beautiful Environments: 4,102ndMost Corrupt Governments: 4,192ndMost World Assembly Endorsements: 4,438thMost Stationary: 4,721stMost Advanced Public Transport: 4,755thMost Advanced Public Education: 5,001stLargest Populations: 5,073rdMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 5,502ndLargest Governments: 5,584thMost Efficient Economies: 5,617thRudest Citizens: 6,084thMost Developed: 7,675thLongest Average Lifespans: 7,867thMost Devout: 8,060thHighest Poor Incomes: 8,255thMost Cultured: 8,639thSafest: 9,786thTop
Best Weather: 11,091stSmartest Citizens: 11,673rdHighest Average Incomes: 12,439thHealthiest Citizens: 13,100thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 14,287thMost Scientifically Advanced: 20,407th
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 4th in the regionMost Stationary: 29th in the regionLargest Black Market: 40th in the regionMost Influential: 42nd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 43rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 43rd in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 49th in the regionTop
Largest Populations: 78th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 88th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 90th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 90th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 91st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 113th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 115th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 118th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 133rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 140th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 147th in the regionRudest Citizens: 153rd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 153rd in the regionLargest Governments: 156th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 167th in the regionMost Developed: 191st in the regionMost Devout: 200th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 202nd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 209th in the regionMost Cultured: 212th in the regionSafest: 212th in the regionTop
Best Weather: 269th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 276th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 276th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 337th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 376th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 446th in the region

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