by Max Barry

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The Empire of Crazy Firemen

“We Ride Together, We Die Together” Firefighter Clemente

Category: Liberal Democratic Socialists
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Squire

Location: the Rejected Realms


Crazy Firemen

Population22.278 billion

LeaderFirefighter Clemente
FaithChurch of the Rising Phoenix


The Empire of Crazy Firemen is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Firefighter Clemente with a fair hand, and renowned for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, sprawling nuclear power plants, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, democratic, humorless, devout population of 22.278 billion Crazy Firemenians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, outspoken morass — juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Seagrave. The average income tax rate is 95.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Crazy Firemenian economy, worth a remarkable 3,428 trillion Brotherhoods a year, is highly specialized and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Information Technology. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 153,896 Brotherhoods, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The moon's craters are more numerous every day, Firefighter Clemente believes shadows are part of the Illuminati, war vets look after war animals, and in life full of care there is no time to stop and stare. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Crazy Firemen's national animal is the Phoenix, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Church of the Rising Phoenix.

Crazy Firemen is ranked 6,667th in the world and 165th in the Rejected Realms for Rudest Citizens, with 124.67 Insults Per Minute.

Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 107thMost Subsidized Industry: 891stLargest Black Market: 1,396thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,576thTop
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 2,676thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 2,737thHighest Economic Output: 3,489thMost Advanced Public Transport: 3,798thMost Beautiful Environments: 3,855thHighest Average Tax Rates: 3,928thLowest Crime Rates: 3,934thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 4,182ndMost World Assembly Endorsements: 4,190thMost Influential: 4,220thMost Corrupt Governments: 4,363rdMost Stationary: 4,680thLargest Populations: 5,060thMost Advanced Public Education: 5,154thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 5,196thLargest Governments: 5,498thMost Efficient Economies: 5,748thRudest Citizens: 6,667thHighest Poor Incomes: 6,686thLongest Average Lifespans: 7,398thMost Developed: 7,738thMost Devout: 8,511thMost Cultured: 8,790thBest Weather: 9,311thSafest: 9,468thTop
Smartest Citizens: 11,797thHighest Average Incomes: 12,675thHealthiest Citizens: 13,056thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 16,275thMost Scientifically Advanced: 21,123rd
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 4th in the regionMost Stationary: 29th in the regionLargest Black Market: 39th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 41st in the regionMost Influential: 41st in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 43rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 59th in the regionTop
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 72nd in the regionLargest Populations: 79th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 79th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 81st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 91st in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 99th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 102nd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 105th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 115th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 127th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 129th in the regionLargest Governments: 139th in the regionRudest Citizens: 165th in the regionMost Developed: 168th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 172nd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 172nd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 173rd in the regionSafest: 189th in the regionMost Cultured: 200th in the regionBest Weather: 210th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 220th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 251st in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 264th in the regionMost Devout: 271st in the regionTop
Highest Average Incomes: 360th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 426th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 484th in the region

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