by Max Barry

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The Empire of Crazy Firemen

“We Ride Together, We Die Together” Firefighter Clemente

Category: Liberal Democratic Socialists
Civil Rights:
Excellent
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Superb

Regional Influence: Squire

Location: the Rejected Realms

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Crazy Firemen

Population20.118 billion

CapitalSeagrave
LeaderFirefighter Clemente
FaithChurch of the Rising Phoenix

CurrencyBrotherhood
AnimalPhoenix

The Empire of Crazy Firemen is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Firefighter Clemente with a fair hand, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, sprawling nuclear power plants, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, democratic, humorless, devout population of 20.118 billion Crazy Firemenians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, outspoken morass — juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Seagrave. The average income tax rate is 95.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Crazy Firemenian economy, worth a remarkable 2,810 trillion Brotherhoods a year, is highly specialized and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Information Technology. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 139,704 Brotherhoods, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

The only way to escape lengthy prison terms is in a body bag, the Seagrave XV Regiment (aka "The Goat Starers") have yet to win a battle, there's a mortuary next to every Crazy Firemenian restaurant, and customer satisfaction with online delivery services is at an all time high. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Crazy Firemen's national animal is the Phoenix, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Church of the Rising Phoenix.

Crazy Firemen is ranked 4,692nd in the world and 69th in the Rejected Realms for Most Influential, scoring 10,613 on the Soft Power Disbursement Rating.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 107thMost Subsidized Industry: 973rdLargest Black Market: 1,377thTop
5%
Most Efficient Economies: 1,570thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,618thMost Corrupt Governments: 3,469thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 3,540thHighest Economic Output: 3,752ndMost World Assembly Endorsements: 3,983rdLowest Crime Rates: 4,080thHighest Average Tax Rates: 4,127thMost Beautiful Environments: 4,183rdHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 4,267thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 4,341stMost Influential: 4,692ndMost Stationary: 5,099thLargest Populations: 5,208thMost Advanced Public Transport: 5,604thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 5,628thLargest Governments: 5,678thRudest Citizens: 5,918thMost Developed: 6,547thMost Advanced Public Education: 6,635thLongest Average Lifespans: 6,873rdMost Devout: 7,483rdTop
10%
Safest: 9,877thHighest Poor Incomes: 10,105thMost Cultured: 10,379thBest Weather: 10,995thSmartest Citizens: 12,200thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 13,499thHealthiest Citizens: 13,817thHighest Average Incomes: 14,695th
Top
1%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 3rd in the regionMost Stationary: 32nd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 36th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 38th in the regionLargest Black Market: 40th in the regionTop
5%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 50th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 52nd in the regionMost Influential: 69th in the regionLargest Populations: 74th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 89th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 99th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 105th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 105th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 108th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 108th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 117th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 129th in the regionRudest Citizens: 135th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 143rd in the regionLargest Governments: 144th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 150th in the regionMost Developed: 151st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 163rd in the regionMost Devout: 165th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 184th in the regionSafest: 205th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 244th in the regionTop
10%
Most Cultured: 257th in the regionBest Weather: 284th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 289th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 301st in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 321st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 348th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 454th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Crazy Firemen, customer satisfaction with online delivery services is at an all time high.
  • : Following new legislation in Crazy Firemen, there's a mortuary next to every Crazy Firemenian restaurant.
  • : Crazy Firemen voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Ban on Forced Sterilisation".
  • : Crazy Firemen was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Devout.
  • : Following new legislation in Crazy Firemen, the Seagrave XV Regiment (aka "The Goat Starers") have yet to win a battle.
  • : Following new legislation in Crazy Firemen, the only way to escape lengthy prison terms is in a body bag.
  • : Following new legislation in Crazy Firemen, the military has adopted a weird double-fisted salute.
  • : Following new legislation in Crazy Firemen, a death threat has replaced 'hello' as an official greeting in the nation.
  • : Crazy Firemen was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Devout.
  • : Crazy Firemen was endorsed by The Impending Doom of The Land of the Dark Immortals.

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