The Holy and Chill Kingdom of Restovix is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Alexander Fisher with an even hand, and notable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, ubiquitous missile silos, and daily referendums. The hard-nosed, devout population of 4.39 billion Restovixians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Burke. The average income tax rate is 82.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Restovixian economy, worth 693 trillion Restovix Drachmes a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 158,065 Restovix Drachmes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Politicians sweat as journalists scour internet archives for any mention of them, the most popular stadium acts are one-off performances, orientation videos remind rookie female politicians that slaps on the bottom are perfectly acceptable forms of communication, and the official Restovixian Phrase Book weighs as much as a small child. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Restovix's national animal is the Fars Fox, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Orthodox Christianity.

Restovix is ranked 5,698^th in the world and 163^rd in The East Pacific for Safest, scoring 129.22 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.