The Republic of Dispatchistan is a gargantuan, efficient nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, compulsory military service, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 10.166 billion Dispatchis are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The tiny, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Defense, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 6.9%.

The very strong Dispatchistani economy, worth 648 trillion florins a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Retail, and Information Technology. Average income is 63,743 florins, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 218,689 per year while the poor average 13,636, a ratio of 16.0 to 1.

Genetic researchers have been expelled, the alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit, national chefs believe that you can eat anything so long as you deep fry it first, and military spending recently hit a new high. Crime is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Dispatchistan's national animal is the elephant, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Dispatchistan is ranked 125,741^st in the world and 16^th in Dispatchia for Most Primitive, scoring -33.17 on the Scary Big Number Scale.