The Holy Empire of Eastern Mal Marialanar is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by King Gaitor with an iron fist, and notable for its public floggings, ubiquitous missile silos, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 2.942 billion Marialanarians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Marialan. The average income tax rate is 35.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Eastern Mal Marialanarian economy, worth 282 trillion Bitcoins a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Automobile Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 95,865 Bitcoins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Uploading purple prose to social media earns a place on a government watchlist, a suspicious number of John Smiths are known to donate to Eastern Mal Marialanarian politicians, homeowners are evicted to make way for new runways, and the government mails weekly updates on the new anti-junk mail laws to every citizen. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Eastern Mal Marialanar's national animal is the Tiger and its national religion is Apostolic.

Eastern Mal Marialanar is ranked 111,947^th in the world and 7^th in The United Empires of Carson for Safest, scoring 78.15 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.