The Bloodsplattered Ediface of Ebon Citadel is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by All-Ordering Eunomia with an even hand, and renowned for its vat-grown people, avant-garde cinema, and astonishingly minimal parenting. The compassionate, cheerful population of 18.614 billion Citadeli are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Seeping Vallation. The average income tax rate is 91.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Citadelian economy, worth a remarkable 1,548 trillion Ichorous Kilderkins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Book Publishing industry. Average income is 83,197 Ichorous Kilderkins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The combined alert sound of a nation simultaneously receiving a text message is a common cause of hearing damage, a suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League, the ruling party has a devil of a time keeping order in the ranks, and surveillance cameras are banned. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ebon Citadel's national animal is the Haematic Helminth, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is ␀.

Ebon Citadel is ranked 46,064^th in the world and 1^st in The Dour Isthmus for Nudest, with 212.5 cheeks per square mile.