The Free State of Eli is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Eli Hutton with an even hand, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, complete absence of social welfare, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 38.413 billion Elians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Eli City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Elian economy, worth a remarkable 8,453 trillion New Merits a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Uranium Mining, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is an amazing 220,078 New Merits, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,081,600 per year while the poor average 25,593, a ratio of 42.3 to 1.

Businesses are abandoning the city centre because of the lack of transport connections, restaurants are required to specify whether their toilet paper was made in Eli, a bill to outlaw math homework has been submitted, and people talk about things being better when men were men. Crime is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Eli's national animal is the squirrel, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Eli is God.

Eli is ranked 17,303^rd in the world and 263^rd in the West Pacific for Most Stationary, with 981.40976773068 Days.