The Card Gardener of EpLeHo is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Giovanniland with an iron fist, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, avant-garde cinema, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 8.932 billion Gardeners are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of World Collection Center. The average income tax rate is 77.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Gardener economy, worth a remarkable 1,244 trillion Cards a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 139,366 Cards, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Prison walls have had to be modified to keep parkour-trained criminals from escaping, six-year-old children playing dress-up are viewed with suspicion, government popup ads are springing up like weeds, and Gardeners suffer not the eggplant emoji to live. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. EpLeHo's national animal is the Gardens, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Card Farming.

EpLeHo is ranked 22,031^st in the world and 1^st in Card Gardens for Most Corrupt Governments, with 93.44 kickbacks per hour.