by Max Barry

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The Incorporated States of Alestadpolkhbizzydor

“God, Homeland, Liberty” Joseph Stalin

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Outlawed

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: The North Pacific

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Alestadpolkhbizzydor

Population1.757 billion

CapitalAlestadpolkhbizzydor City
LeaderJoseph Stalin
FaithCommunism

CurrencyFlorin
AnimalDragon

The Incorporated States of Alestadpolkhbizzydor is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Joseph Stalin with an iron fist, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, public floggings, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 1.757 billion Alestadpolkhbizzydorians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Administration, and Industry also on the agenda, while Social Policy and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Alestadpolkhbizzydor City. The average income tax rate is 83.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Alestadpolkhbizzydorian economy, worth 388 trillion Florins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Automobile Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 220,831 Florins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

Science fiction is seen as the leading cause of mental breakdowns, nine out of ten citizens of Alestadpolkhbizzydor answered 'nuclear safety inspector' when asked their occupation, anti-vaxxers claim that injected children are prone to psychotic breaks when they see the 'Queen of Diamonds' playing card, and a faint smell of body odour can be detected at several miles' distance from the National Science Park. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Alestadpolkhbizzydor's national animal is the Dragon, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Communism.

Alestadpolkhbizzydor is ranked 3,742nd in the world and 77th in The North Pacific for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring 9,164.76 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 1,427thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 1,920thMost Patriotic: 2,611thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 2,740thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,852ndLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,861stTop
5%
Most Influential: 3,595thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 3,742ndMost Corrupt Governments: 6,413thLargest Mining Sector: 6,738thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 6,959thHighest Average Incomes: 7,827thMost Authoritarian: 8,442ndLowest Crime Rates: 8,556thNudest: 8,946thHighest Poor Incomes: 10,748thLargest Information Technology Sector: 12,611thLargest Black Market: 13,028thLargest Governments: 13,127thTop
10%
Highest Average Tax Rates: 15,393rdHighest Wealthy Incomes: 17,487thMost Conservative: 18,432ndMost Secular: 18,458thLargest Agricultural Sector: 19,953rdLargest Cheese Export Sector: 21,738thMost Scientifically Advanced: 22,977thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 23,501stMost Subsidized Industry: 24,268thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 26,596thMost Efficient Economies: 27,024th
Top
1%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 48th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Manufacturing Sector: 65th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 70th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 70th in the regionMost Patriotic: 77th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 77th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 108th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 139th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 167th in the regionNudest: 181st in the regionLargest Black Market: 184th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 247th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 256th in the regionTop
10%
Lowest Crime Rates: 378th in the regionMost Extreme: 389th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 407th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 411th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 454th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 479th in the regionMost Conservative: 488th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 489th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 498th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 515th in the regionLargest Governments: 536th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 568th in the regionMost Secular: 619th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Alestadpolkhbizzydor, a faint smell of body odour can be detected at several miles' distance from the National Science Park.
  • : Following new legislation in Alestadpolkhbizzydor, anti-vaxxers claim that injected children are prone to psychotic breaks when they see the 'Queen of Diamonds' playing card.
  • : Alestadpolkhbizzydor was endorsed by The Empire of Comfed.
  • : Following new legislation in Alestadpolkhbizzydor, nine out of ten citizens of Alestadpolkhbizzydor answered 'nuclear safety inspector' when asked their occupation.
  • : Following new legislation in Alestadpolkhbizzydor, science fiction is seen as the leading cause of mental breakdowns.
  • : Alestadpolkhbizzydor voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Ban on Juvenile Life Sentences without Parole".
  • : Alestadpolkhbizzydor was endorsed by The Money of Stal Valley.
  • : Following new legislation in Alestadpolkhbizzydor, the nation's faithful often say there is a higher power watching over them.
  • : Following new legislation in Alestadpolkhbizzydor, the path to inner peace is paved with state-mandated punishment.
  • : Following new legislation in Alestadpolkhbizzydor, the meaning of life was recently discovered in the patch notes for Version 1.42.

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