The Better places to be of Free ice cream yo is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Ultimate Lesbian with an iron fist, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, smutty television, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 1.898 billion Creamy bois are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Administration, and Spirituality also on the agenda, while Welfare and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Touristtraperton. The average income tax rate is 75.5%.

The powerhouse Free ice cream yoan economy, worth 279 trillion cones a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Arms Manufacturing, Soda Sales, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 147,026 cones, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.2 times as much as the poorest.

Ultimate Lesbian has been known to make speeches in fishing waders, napalm is the tool of choice for disabling eco-unfriendly forestry operations, the number of children one can have is restricted by law, and Free ice cream yo isn't what it used to be. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Free ice cream yo's national animal is the tardigrade, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Church of Hadar.

Free ice cream yo is ranked 47,627^th in the world and 1^st in Hell but slightly better for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 4,534.95 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.