The Colony of Intel Itanium is a massive, orderly nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, restrictive gun laws, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 1.322 billion Intel Itaniumians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 9.1%.

The very strong Intel Itaniumian economy, worth 90.5 trillion marks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Information Technology. Average income is 68,446 marks, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 309,918 per year while the poor average 9,279, a ratio of 33.4 to 1.

Military spending is on the increase, monocled merchants with funny accents are applying for Intel Itaniumian citizenship in droves, all government facilities are built in the subterranean citadel of Intel Itanium City, and Leader has been known to threaten dissenting citizens with a machine gun at press conferences. Crime is a problem, possibly because it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many regulations. Intel Itanium's national animal is the swan, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Intel Itanium is ranked 209,472^nd in the world and 26^th in Retrocomputers for Most Cultured, scoring 64 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.