The Patroonship of Kinderhook is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by The Patroon with an iron fist, and remarkable for its disturbing lack of elderly people, avowedly heterosexual populace, and stringent health and safety legislation. The cynical, devout population of 2.923 billion Kinderhookians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Route Nineville. The average income tax rate is 57.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The very strong Kinderhookian economy, worth 303 trillion Van Burens a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, Tourism, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 103,669 Van Burens, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Families waiting for delayed pipe installations hope daily for rain, the air force's greatness is based on how many enemies are made during procurement, Tetris has been banned for its graphic violent content, and smoking is banned in public areas. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kinderhook's national animal is the Beaver.

Kinderhook is ranked 259,833^rd in the world and 7^th in Upstate for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -5.6 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.