The United Holy States of Malchata is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Supreme Authority Michael with an even hand, and notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, keen interest in outer space, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, devout population of 1.904 billion Malchatians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and look forward to their next free and open election, to be held on an as-yet unannounced date.

The medium-sized government prioritizes Administration, although Education, Defense, and Spirituality are also considered important, while International Aid is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Auriville. The average income tax rate is 53.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Malchatan economy, worth 126 trillion zrugots a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Cheese Exports, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 66,286 zrugots, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Older citizens lament over the loss of law and order, a sledgehammer and a spray can are seen as the default tools of political debate, the most penniless demographics have by far the highest number of researchers per capita, and when shaking hands with foreign leaders Supreme Authority Michael wears an armoured gauntlet. Crime is almost non-existent, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Malchata's national animal is the goose, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Any Religion.

Malchata is ranked 193,388^th in the world and 27^th in kingdom of Greater Esteriae for Fattest Citizens, with 9.46 Obesity Rate.