The Free Land of Melva is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Great Mega Mega with an iron fist, and renowned for its complete lack of prisons, infamous sell-swords, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical, cheerful population of 16.399 billion Melvaniacs are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Education, although Environment, Industry, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Spirituality and Defense aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mega Melva. The average income tax rate is 44.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient melvaniatic economy, worth a remarkable 2,723 trillion stones a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 166,079 stones, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

The official Melvaniatic Phrase Book weighs as much as a small child, students spend the school year learning how great the education system is, citizens praise the weeds that overwhelm their narrow vegetable realm, and residents of houses built on a foundation of wishful thinking are prone to an odd sinking feeling. Crime is totally unknown. Melva's national animal is the awesome bunny, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is whatever Melvaniacs prefer.

Melva is ranked 8,205^th in the world and 1^st in United Splendid Marmotlands for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 91,841.88 Standard Monetary Units.