The Socialist Federative State of Molossiania is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Bukheil Dobrachuvie Gurbochiev with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory military service, infamous sell-swords, and otherworldly petting zoo. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 12.365 billion Molossianians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Grand Mroskau. The average income tax rate is 95.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Molossianian economy, worth a remarkable 2,229 trillion Tsetans a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 180,297 Tsetans, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Printing out government documents requires the approval of at least three admins, police officers often conceal their identities to safeguard against public complaints, schools have extensive counseling programs for troubled students, and all major public areas are watched by police surveillance cameras. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Molossiania's national animal is the Golden Eagle and its national religion is Barlakkism.

Molossiania is ranked 5,027^th in the world and 245^th in The North Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 116.35 law-abiding acts per hour.