The Republic of New Cagayan de Oro is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Sovereign with an iron fist, and remarkable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, rampant corporate plagiarism, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.862 billion New Cagayan de Oroans are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mesopotamia. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 56.4%.

The frighteningly efficient New Cagayan de Oroan economy, worth a remarkable 1,048 trillion Gold coins a year, is led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 118,290 Gold coins, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 388,557 per year while the poor average 27,005, a ratio of 14.4 to 1.

The government believes there is no problem that raising taxes won't fix, citizens drive tank-like vehicles with mounted machine guns, teen parties are often ruined by wet blanket chaperones, and third world countries are rich in "I Love Mesopotamia" t-shirts. Crime is a problem. New Cagayan de Oro's national animal is the wolf, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Melchizedek Order.

New Cagayan de Oro is ranked 276,236^th in the world and 12^th in Ancient for Most Beautiful Environments, with 7.41 pounds of wildlife per square mile.