The Holy Troutarky of North-Waffia is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Interpres Domitianus with an iron fist, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, zero percent divorce rate, and complete lack of public education. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 12.695 billion North-Waffians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Spirituality, with Environment and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Wallia. The average income tax rate is 18.0%.

The North-Waffian economy, worth 502 trillion trout a year, is extremely specialized and mostly made up of the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 39,571 trout, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.7 times as much as the poorest.

The act of reporting blasphemy is known as 'Orthodoxxing', Jennifer Government is banned, beggars lack pockets for spare change, and closed universities are currently being converted into McRonald's restaurants. Crime, especially youth-related, is almost non-existent, thanks to a capable police force. North-Waffia's national animal is the whale, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Ballænam.

North-Waffia is ranked 289,120^th in the world and 16^th in Banaanvraag for Highest Food Quality, scoring 3.52 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.