by Max Barry

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The Bad Bad Hats of Nothing Gets Me High

“I don't want you to wonder why”

Category: Moralistic Democracy
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Some

Regional Influence: Dominator

Location: Terra Pacifica

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Nothing Gets Me High

Population8.991 billion

Currencybad bad hat
Animalhat

The Bad Bad Hats of Nothing Gets Me High is a mammoth, efficient nation, remarkable for its enslaved workforce, frequent executions, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 8.991 billion Nothing Gets Me Highians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 66.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Nothing Gets Me Highian economy, worth a remarkable 1,386 trillion bad bad hats a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 154,252 bad bad hats, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 634,393 per year while the poor average 24,728, a ratio of 25.7 to 1.

People faint regularly as they get stuck with compulsory vaccinations, riot police are stationed around paintings of violent protestors, flatulent people are left to die of cancer at the end of hospital waiting lists, and scientists who publish a non-reproducible result are tarred and feathered. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Nothing Gets Me High's national animal is the hat, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Nothing Gets Me High is ranked 138,167th in the world and 1st in Terra Pacifica for Highest Poor Incomes, with 24,728.09 Standard Monetary Units.

Top
5%
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 6,957thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 7,210thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 8,328thMost Patriotic: 10,762ndLargest Mining Sector: 11,257thLargest Black Market: 12,006thLongest Average Lifespans: 14,695thTop
10%
Most Corrupt Governments: 16,005thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 16,703rdHealthiest Citizens: 17,171stMost Developed: 17,196thMost Armed: 18,006thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 19,190thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 21,806thLargest Agricultural Sector: 22,075thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 22,613thMost Conservative: 22,708thHighest Average Incomes: 23,904thMost Scientifically Advanced: 24,657thMost Subsidized Industry: 25,899thHighest Economic Output: 26,161stLargest Information Technology Sector: 26,579thLowest Crime Rates: 28,441stMost Efficient Economies: 28,947th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Nothing Gets Me High was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Governments.
  • : Following new legislation in Nothing Gets Me High, scientists who publish a non-reproducible result are tarred and feathered.
  • : Following new legislation in Nothing Gets Me High, flatulent people are left to die of cancer at the end of hospital waiting lists.
  • : Following new legislation in Nothing Gets Me High, riot police are stationed around paintings of violent protestors.
  • : Following new legislation in Nothing Gets Me High, people faint regularly as they get stuck with compulsory vaccinations.
  • : Following new legislation in Nothing Gets Me High, truancy is as easy as clicking a camera icon.
  • : Nothing Gets Me High's influence in Terra Pacifica rose from "Superpower" to "Dominator".
  • : Nothing Gets Me High was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Longest Average Lifespans.
  • : Following new legislation in Nothing Gets Me High, pet owners are granted clemency from being ritually sacrificed.
  • : Following new legislation in Nothing Gets Me High, citizens insist that there's no law against standing downwind when marijuana crops are burned off.

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