The State of Old Battle Harbour is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by the Governor with a fair hand, and remarkable for its absence of drug laws, complete absence of social welfare, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 32.851 billion Old Battle Harbourians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Industry, although Education is also considered important, while Spirituality and Law & Order receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Capital Heights. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 6.2%.

The very strong Old Battle Harbourian economy, worth 974 trillion betales a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is highly specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Book Publishing. Average income is 29,651 betales, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 201,596 per year while the poor average 1,593, a ratio of 126 to 1.

The people of Old Battle Harbour are renowned for their nihilistic attitudes, voting is voluntary, radio shows frequently feature people denouncing religion, and the Governor has just been declared ruler of Old Battle Harbour in an international press conference. Crime is a major problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. Old Battle Harbour's national animal is the deer, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Old Battle Harbour is ranked 206,761^st in the world and 468^th in United States of America for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring -4.47 on the Clooney Contribution Index.