The Holy Empire of Old Waldorff is a colossal, efficient nation, notable for its daily referendums, ban on automobiles, and ritual sacrifices. The hard-working, cynical, devout population of 2.682 billion Old Waldorffians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 33.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Old Waldorffian economy, worth 296 trillion dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Trout Farming. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 110,672 dollars, with the richest citizens earning 6.2 times as much as the poorest.

Reports of arson have doubled since the introduction of a privatised fire protection service, a nickname of "Doctor Death" probably indicates a decorated war hero, oil executives can be seen reluctantly cleaning oil-soaked birds, and loading sixteen tons of laundry gets you another year older and deeper in debt. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Old Waldorff's national animal is the swan, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Old Waldorff is ranked 70,103^rd in the world and 2^nd in Islamic continent for Most Developed, scoring 70.62 on the Human Development Index.