by Max Barry

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The People's Republic of Pissing Yourself

“Piss Yourself”

Category: Democratic Socialists
Civil Rights:
Excellent
Economy:
Powerhouse
Political Freedoms:
Average

Regional Influence: Apprentice

Location: The Leftist Assembly

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Pissing Yourself

Population6.983 billion

CapitalPiss City
LeaderSupreme Pisser
FaithPissing Oneself

CurrencyPiss Dollar
AnimalPiss Snake

The People's Republic of Pissing Yourself is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Supreme Pisser with an even hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, state-planned economy, and keen interest in outer space. The compassionate, cheerful population of 6.983 billion Folk Who Have Pissed Themselves are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Piss City. The average income tax rate is 95.5%.

The powerhouse of Pissed Pants economy, worth 675 trillion Piss Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology. Average income is 96,796 Piss Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Vital intelligence-gathering activities are often put on hold for Call of Honor tournaments, 'Totally Not Partisan News' is a line item on the government budget, molehills are the only mountains deemed safe enough for the public, and a bureaucratic fight over PPIA cafeteria food expenditures has caused the temporary suspension of all agency counterintelligence operations. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Pissing Yourself's national animal is the Piss Snake, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Pissing Oneself.

Pissing Yourself is ranked 290,278th in the world and 347th in The Leftist Assembly for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring -18.08 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.

Top
1%
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 1,401stMost Influential: 1,622ndLargest Welfare Programs: 1,779thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 2,322ndTop
5%
Most Pacifist: 3,317thMost Compassionate Citizens: 3,719thNicest Citizens: 3,787thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 4,471stLeast Corrupt Governments: 4,910thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 5,285thHighest Average Tax Rates: 5,469thMost Cheerful Citizens: 5,491stSafest: 5,737thBest Weather: 5,745thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 6,051stMost Inclusive: 6,069thMost Advanced Public Education: 6,300thLongest Average Lifespans: 7,788thMost Beautiful Environments: 7,864thHighest Food Quality: 9,410thMost Income Equality: 10,484thMost Secular: 11,107thMost Advanced Public Transport: 11,567thHealthiest Citizens: 11,589thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 12,332ndLargest Governments: 12,569thTop
10%
Smartest Citizens: 16,049thMost Cultured: 16,657thHighest Poor Incomes: 20,255thLowest Crime Rates: 20,770th
Top
10%
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 29th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 31st in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 32nd in the regionMost Stationary: 37th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Pissing Yourself was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Highest Foreign Aid Spending and Most Influential and the Top 5% for Most Beautiful Environments, Most Inclusive, and Most Advanced Public Education.
  • : Pissing Yourself voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Liberate Eclipsis".
  • : Pissing Yourself voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Prosecutorial Discretion Act".
  • : Following new legislation in Pissing Yourself, a bureaucratic fight over PPIA cafeteria food expenditures has caused the temporary suspension of all agency counterintelligence operations.
  • : Following new legislation in Pissing Yourself, molehills are the only mountains deemed safe enough for the public.
  • : Following new legislation in Pissing Yourself, 'Totally Not Partisan News' is a line item on the government budget.
  • : Following new legislation in Pissing Yourself, vital intelligence-gathering activities are often put on hold for Call of Honor tournaments.
  • : Following new legislation in Pissing Yourself, diplomatic missions typically end with a flurry of childish insults, accusations and phlegm.
  • : Pissing Yourself was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Highest Poor Incomes.
  • : Following new legislation in Pissing Yourself, the government loves seeing the little people fight.

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