The Kingdom of PlanetMercury is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Freddie Mercury with an iron fist, and renowned for its infamous sell-swords, frequent executions, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 9.064 billion PlanetMercuries are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kensington. The average income tax rate is 73.8%.

The frighteningly efficient PlanetMercuryian economy, worth a remarkable 3,090 trillion pounds a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 340,959 pounds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

Children's TV shows are having a gay old time, you can't put down the nation's attitude to pet health, forty-year-old men are asked for their ID before watching the latest pony cartoon movies, and bowling teams spend more time looking at their phones than the pins. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. PlanetMercury's national animal is the Cat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

PlanetMercury is ranked 58,560^th in the world and 1,725^th in The North Pacific for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 528.17 on the Clooney Contribution Index.