by Max Barry

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The Colony of Shaggy Pigeon

“Yum! Pizza crust!”

Category: Father Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Some
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Rare

Regional Influence: Eminence Grise

Location: Birdland

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Shaggy Pigeon

Population4.878 billion

Currencycrust
Animalpigeon

The Colony of Shaggy Pigeon is a massive, orderly nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, infamous sell-swords, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 4.878 billion Shaggy Pigeons are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 43.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Shaggy economy, worth 546 trillion crusts a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Retail, Woodchip Exports, Basket Weaving, and Gambling. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 112,006 crusts, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Shaking a stone out of your shoe is considered to be dangerously risqué, the diplomatic corps tends to open negotiations by insulting all the foreigners in the room, the nation's arms dealers guarantee discretion and untraceable transactions, and the police think a properly conducted criminal investigation is a real pain. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Shaggy Pigeon's national animal is the pigeon, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Shaggy Pigeon is ranked 30,231st in the world and 1st in Birdland for Highest Economic Output, with 546 trillion Standard Monetary Units.

Top
1%
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,552ndTop
5%
Largest Retail Industry: 2,364thMost Primitive: 3,862ndMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4,637thLargest Black Market: 5,677thMost Avoided: 7,478thMost Corrupt Governments: 8,678thMost Ignorant Citizens: 8,722ndTop
10%
Most Subsidized Industry: 13,076thHighest Poor Incomes: 17,324thMost Efficient Economies: 19,218thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 19,718thMost Advanced Public Education: 21,072ndLargest Soda Pop Sector: 21,308thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 22,046th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Shaggy Pigeon was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Subsidized Industry and the Top 10% for Highest Disposable Incomes.
  • : Shaggy Pigeon was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Highest Average Incomes.
  • : Following new legislation in Shaggy Pigeon, the police think a properly conducted criminal investigation is a real pain.
  • : Following new legislation in Shaggy Pigeon, the nation's arms dealers guarantee discretion and untraceable transactions.
  • : Following new legislation in Shaggy Pigeon, the diplomatic corps tends to open negotiations by insulting all the foreigners in the room.
  • : Following new legislation in Shaggy Pigeon, shaking a stone out of your shoe is considered to be dangerously risqué.
  • : Following new legislation in Shaggy Pigeon, a popular saying is "a chicken for every pot and an abortion clinic on every street".
  • : Following new legislation in Shaggy Pigeon, solid-gold toilets are Shaggy prisons' least expensive furnishings.
  • : Following new legislation in Shaggy Pigeon, the state has declared war on the environment and environmentalists by association.
  • : Following new legislation in Shaggy Pigeon, uprooting flowers for religious ceremonies is a felony.

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