The Protectorate of Spanish Micronesia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by the general Armando Ballestín Cabeza with an even hand, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and ubiquitous missile silos. The compassionate, devout population of 19.269 billion Spanish Micronesians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small, corrupt government is primarily concerned with Industry, with Education, Defense, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Administration and Spirituality aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kapingamarangi. The average income tax rate is 15.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Spanish Micronesian economy, worth a remarkable 2,942 trillion ₳ asis a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Basket Weaving. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 152,690 ₳ asis, with the richest citizens earning 5.3 times as much as the poorest.

Blind dates reemerge as a necessary evil in the quest for love, fifteen-year-olds cannot walk younger siblings to school without a professional Childcare and Education Certificate, the request to "give us our daily bread" can only be fulfilled six days out of seven, and The general Armando Ballestín Cabeza sports gold-plated grillz to promote the government's hard money policy. Crime is totally unknown. Spanish Micronesia's national animal is the 🐬 dolphin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Christianism.

Spanish Micronesia is ranked 23,139^th in the world and 5^th in Oceania for Most Corrupt Governments, with 89.93 kickbacks per hour.