The Dominion of The Captain is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Leader with an iron fist, and notable for its deadly medical pandemics, public floggings, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 46.913 billion Captainians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The minute, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Captain City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Captainian economy, worth an astonishing 31,104 trillion TDU Credits a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Uranium Mining, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is a breathtaking 663,015 TDU Credits, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 6,210,744 per year while the poor average 5,956, a ratio of 1,042 to 1.

Colonists who were promised new lands find only war-torn devastation, a massive campaign is underway to ensure the race of The Captain remains pure, seafood restaurants assure customers 'If it lives in the sea, it's on our menu', and major boxing matches are held in government buildings. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. The Captain's national animal is the Eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is a major religion.

The Captain is ranked 12,346^th in the world and 13^th in Wysteria for Lowest Crime Rates, with 99.57 law-abiding acts per hour.