The Holy Empire of The Cebabi Caliphate is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Caliph al-Cebab with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, suspicion of poets, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 23.995 billion Cebabis are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cebababad. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 44.2%.

The strong Cebabi economy, worth a remarkable 1,702 trillion Cebabi dinars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Furniture Restoration, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is 70,937 Cebabi dinars, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 270,990 per year while the poor average 12,837, a ratio of 21.1 to 1.

Naturists are jailed regularly for indecent exposure, marine biology students are shocked to discover that a whale is a mammal, out-of-work basketball players loom over the unemployment line, and retirement homes are filled with foreign war criminals. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Cebabi Caliphate's national animal is the Cebabi eagle, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities, and its national religion is Cebabi Islam.

The Cebabi Caliphate is ranked 46,451^st in the world and 9^th in United Empire of Islam for Most Patriotic, with 29.11 flags saluted per person per day.