The Empire of ZhangKeyesland is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Emperor Justin Zhang with an iron fist, and remarkable for its infamous sell-swords, aversion to nipples, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 11.089 billion Zhangkeyeslandians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Industry, Education, and Administration also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Baltimore. The average income tax rate is 91.1%.

The frighteningly efficient ZhangKeyeslandian economy, worth a remarkable 4,886 trillion kek nabs a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Retail, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 440,695 kek nabs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

Emperor Justin Zhang's family members carry literal get-out-of-jail-free cards, tourists need only sign on the dotted line to become citizens, the military is recruiting war criminals to join its weapons research teams, and phone taps are frequently carried out by the police. Crime is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. ZhangKeyesland's national animal is the dog, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Christianity.

ZhangKeyesland is ranked 285,395^th in the world and 6,249^th in The North Pacific for Safest, scoring 5.25 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.