The Republic of The Washington Wizards is a gargantuan, orderly nation, renowned for its ban on automobiles, frequent executions, and parental licensing program. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 11.376 billion Washington Wizardsians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 68.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Washington Wizardsian economy, worth a remarkable 1,622 trillion deniers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 142,650 deniers, with the richest citizens earning 9.5 times as much as the poorest.

Prisoners due for execution often use their final statement to complain about soggy bread rolls, even the nation's brussel sprouts are delicious and nutritious, politicians are often found scavenging bins at night to supplement their income, and interviewees for teaching jobs are waterboarded to "reveal undesirable histories". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Washington Wizards's national animal is the beaver, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

The Washington Wizards is ranked 30,266^th in the world and 1,927^th in Osiris for Lowest Crime Rates, with 82.56 law-abiding acts per hour.