The Borderlands of Thistledom is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Thistle with an iron fist, and notable for its parental licensing program, pith helmet sales, and aversion to nipples. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 40.226 billion Thistledoms are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Law & Order, although Defense and Healthcare are also considered important, while Welfare and Spirituality are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New London. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 5.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Thistledom economy, worth an astonishing 10,214 trillion euros a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an amazing 253,917 euros, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 921,540 per year while the poor average 49,828, a ratio of 18.5 to 1.

The government tries not to listen to the people unless it absolutely has to, the government invades its allies more than its enemies, new government leaflets tell coeliac children to eat more crisps, and increasing inclusiveness is a sign of the times. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Thistledom's national animal is the lynx, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Thistledom is ranked 285,921^st in the world and 23^rd in Haiku for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring -22.36 on the Clooney Contribution Index.