The Tone-Deaf Bard of Tracian Empire is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Emperor Vaeros II with an iron fist, and notable for its public floggings, prohibition of alcohol, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 22.116 billion Thracians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vathora. The average income tax rate is 89.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Thracian economy, worth a remarkable 2,947 trillion Auriols a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 133,270 Auriols, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Sales of pregnancy testing kits are booming, the nation faces constant invasions by foreign boy bands, there is a growing belief that consciousness is a simulated illusion within a computer-generated reality, and signs at the border tell international drivers where they can put their cars. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tracian Empire's national animal is the Imperial Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Vayonism.

Tracian Empire is ranked 19,275^th in the world and 11^th in International Northwestern Union for Safest, scoring 114.36 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.