The Free Land of Upper-Aemiliana is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Pineapples with an even hand, and remarkable for its unlimited-speed roads, digital currency, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 7.773 billion Upper-Aemilianans enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The minute, liberal, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is effectively ruled by the Department of Industry, with Law & Order and Spirituality not funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Aemilianarchopolis. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 1.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Upper-Aemilianan economy, worth a remarkable 1,092 trillion Onesies a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Soda Sales, Information Technology, and Gambling. Average income is an impressive 140,499 Onesies, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 842,243 per year while the poor average 10,624, a ratio of 79.3 to 1.

Burnt-out forty-foot-tall wicker men dot the countryside, witches' brews set off Geiger counters, annual Formula One races bring the capital to a screeching halt, and babies are increasingly seen as a luxury. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Upper-Aemiliana's national animal is the Firebird, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Upper-Aemiliana is ranked 293,706^th in the world and 3^rd in United Nations of Neo Gaia for Lowest Crime Rates, with 3.21 law-abiding acts per hour.