The Democratic Republic of Valstija is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Tehro Pähjaa with an even hand, and remarkable for its irreverence towards religion, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate population of 14.541 billion Valstijans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sostinė. The average income tax rate is 66.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient Valstijan economy, worth 624 trillion Vålutas a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Automobile Manufacturing, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 42,920 Vålutas, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government has ordered a moratorium on referenda, Pinkerton agents are called in to forcibly break up white collar strikes, homophobia is off the menu, and mothers are routinely abandoning their children in the name of women's rights. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Valstija's national animal is the idiot, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Religionism.

Valstija is ranked 33,918^th in the world and 5^th in The North Pacific Union for Highest Food Quality, scoring 53.34 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.