The United States of Weitzel is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Der Kommissar with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, strictly enforced bedtime, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 46.109 billion Weitzelese are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The relatively small government prioritizes Defense, with Education, Industry, and Administration also on the agenda, while Social Policy and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Smallville. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Weitzelian economy, worth a remarkable 9,897 trillion Smelly Farts a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Tourism. Average income is an amazing 214,657 Smelly Farts, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 838,166 per year while the poor average 37,496, a ratio of 22.4 to 1.

It turns out that you actually can put a price on intangible cultural heritage, the government keeps introducing new foreign species to combat the previous ones it has introduced, college students make ends meet by selling their kidneys, and it's been a banner year for local vexillology. Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Weitzel's national animal is the duckbilled platypus, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Weitzel is ranked 8,610^th in the world and 1^st in EWU for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring 7,190.35 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.