by Max Barry

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The Free Market Empire of Zerni

“Theres profit in all things, Legalities are second rate”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Rare
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Outlawed

Regional Influence: Superpower

Location: Zernxi Sector

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Zerni

Population30.207 billion

CapitalZerni City
LeaderEmperor Mishami
Faithshinto

CurrencyCredit
Animalsilver lynx

The Free Market Empire of Zerni is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Emperor Mishami with an iron fist, and notable for its national health service, pith helmet sales, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 30.207 billion Zernians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Zerni City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Zernian economy, worth an astonishing 13,037 trillion Credits a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 431,619 Credits, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.7 times as much as the poorest.

The government has put a kid glove on the invisible hand of the free market, visiting the best Zernian restaurants requires keeping a visa on file, doctors are encouraged to 'pull the plug' any time the government has a budget crisis, and unfit police officers collapse while trying to capture unusually athletic criminals. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Zerni's national animal is the silver lynx, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is shinto.

Zerni is ranked 3,386th in the world and 1st in Zernxi Sector for Most Stationary, with 3,715.66428864 days.

Top
1%
Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 145thHighest Disposable Incomes: 202ndLargest Insurance Industry: 314thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 370thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 395thHighest Economic Output: 447thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 461stMost Devout: 495thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 617thLargest Agricultural Sector: 787thHighest Average Incomes: 825thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 940thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,044thLargest Mining Sector: 1,341stMost Efficient Economies: 1,360thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,417thMost Scientifically Advanced: 1,785thLargest Publishing Industry: 1,793rdLargest Gambling Industry: 1,843rdMost Cultured: 1,926thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,979thLargest Information Technology Sector: 2,014thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,100thHighest Poor Incomes: 2,203rdLargest Black Market: 2,302ndTop
5%
Smartest Citizens: 3,070thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 3,108thMost Stationary: 3,386thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3,607thLargest Retail Industry: 3,642ndLargest Populations: 4,364thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 4,371stMost Developed: 5,385thLargest Governments: 7,622ndLowest Crime Rates: 9,633rdMost Influential: 11,488thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 12,385thLongest Average Lifespans: 13,937thMost Subsidized Industry: 14,305thTop
10%
Most Authoritarian: 16,915thMost Armed: 18,278thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 25,525thHighest Food Quality: 27,167th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Zerni was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Smartest Citizens.
  • : Following new legislation in Zerni, unfit police officers collapse while trying to capture unusually athletic criminals.
  • : Following new legislation in Zerni, doctors are encouraged to 'pull the plug' any time the government has a budget crisis.
  • : Zerni was reclassified from "Iron Fist Consumerists" to "Psychotic Dictatorship".
  • : Following new legislation in Zerni, visiting the best Zernian restaurants requires keeping a visa on file.
  • : Following new legislation in Zerni, the government has put a kid glove on the invisible hand of the free market.
  • : Following new legislation in Zerni, fly fishermen are legally forbidden from using electronic lures.
  • : Following new legislation in Zerni, people say that cubists are rubbish because they can't draw faces.
  • : Following new legislation in Zerni, nudity is frowned upon.
  • : Following new legislation in Zerni, disability advocates are not amused that they are told to be dependent on Zernians's kindness.

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