The Grandpa knows best state of Zimbabwe is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Robert Gabriel Mugabe with an iron fist, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, ban on automobiles, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 31.362 billion Zimbabweans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Harare. The average income tax rate is 68.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Zimbabwean economy, worth a remarkable 6,570 trillion Inflations a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 209,502 Inflations, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.7 times as much as the poorest.

Harare consists only of government buildings and the mansions of government janitors, Zimbabwe's first free elections in recent memory have been successfully concluded, masterpieces by male artists are on display in the dumpsters behind the gallery, and any secret that gets off someone's chest is promptly replaced. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Zimbabwe's national animal is the Mugabe, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is a major religion.

Zimbabwe is ranked 96,694^th in the world and 7^th in Australia for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 2,042.25 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.