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“Oh he is my favourite! I’d love to show him MY Gran Willy,” says Zeus, your lewd elderly uncle, wiping the steam from his spectacle lenses. “Sure, he’s just courting publicity, but that doesn’t mean you can’t take the break. Give him a front page picture with you at a movie premiere, and in return he can make a racket with you down the line. Hey, it’s the world’s oldest profession!”

Well then...this happened.