by Max Barry

Latest Forum Topics

Advertisement

Post

Region: The Coalition of Democratic Nations

The neo-marxist soviet union

П р а в д а

--------------------------------------------------

Supreme Soviet votes in favour of condemning Karthspiri invasion of Afghanistan, deploys Red Army to "defend Kabul and the Afghan highlands".

Afghan onlookers were "perplexed" as from the freight cars of the Southern Railway came standard sized containers filled with soldiers of the Red Army and their equipment. Only thirty minutes prior, it had been announced through a routine YouTube livestream of the Supreme Soviet that they had reached a democratic consensus; the Karthspiri invasion of Afghanistan was to be condemned, with an immediate Soviet response to such an "unexpected but unsurprising" display of imperialism from the Karthspiri monarchy, which it had weeks prior praised as better than the islamo-fascists they replaced. Units of the airborne VDV, on the other hand, have been deployed to strategic positions along the Hindu Kush Strategic Line as a vanguard force. The Afghan government approved of this measure, though critics suggest they "didn't really have a choice in the matter" being stuck between two much larger powers. As a closing statement, Dmitry Rogozin (Chairman of the Supreme Soviet) said the following, meant as a public message to the political elite of Karthspirije;

"We are natural partners in the world stage, but our course of action is a stern warning; tow the line, or we will make you."

As the session ended, reporters outside questioned the capability of the Red Army to deal with the Karthspiri armed forces in the case of an escalation. Rogozin told them to go bother the STAVKA. In response, a number of reporters flooded the General Staff Building nearby, where military police and Aleksandr Golovko were waiting for them. The tired-looking Golovko with a cup of KommunKoffee in hand tried responding to as many questions as possible, most importantly for our readers that which Rogozin deflected. His answer was as follows;

"Ask anyone who has fought the Americans. You can put 300 million people in a uniform, that doesn't give you the technological or logistical capabilities to defeat a modern country. Pol Pot learned this lesson well when Nixon and Gorbachev had him buried in rubble! Haha! My older brother was deployed there. Said the air smelt like flesh and napalm, all the time. I wouldn't wish it on anyone."

When asked about Soviet rules of engagement, Golovko replied that the Red Army is not to engage any Karthspiri troops unless they are fired upon. Insurgents, however, are fair game.

--------------------------------------------------

#CuckAratharr trending in Twitter.

The hashtag #CuckAratharr has become #1 in trending across Twitter, with similar mentions in other mass media. According to American media, the infamous 4chan's /pol/ was the origin of this campaign. CNN reports a thread named "Operation Robespierre" called for the destruction of the Karthspiri "monarchofags" and their "hanging by based trotskyists". Despite infighting, including a user spamming "KRONDSTADT NEVER HAPPENED BUT IT SHOULD HAVE" 208 times, the movement gained momentum in Twitter and spiralled into a worlwide flaming of the Karthspiri monarch. Some users have suggested the involvement of the Soviet information warfare apparatus, based on the fact a disproportionate amount of Twitter users posting #CuckAratharr were traced back to the Soviet Union or to COMINTERN-related associations, but this has largely been disregarded as a paranoid conspiracy.

--------------------------------------------------

STAVKA directly contacts Chinese government, informs of "no offensive plans" and warns of "uncontrolled paranoia".

Following the activation of Red Army CATEGORY B units and the heightening of alertness throughout the entire Chinese border, especially in the Far East Military District, Chinese authorities have reportedly ordered a "total mobilisation" of all military units within Mongolia and the Gobi Desert, and the enactation of martial law. In an unusual course of action, the STAVKA directly contacted Chinese authorities on this matter, informing them that the Red Army has no intentions of initiating offensive operations in "one of the most hostile and least valuable regions" in the planet. They also suggested providing "strategic advisory" services to the Chinese Armed Forces, beginning with the relocation of Chinese assets in the Sino-Soviet border to the Manchuria region and their coastal cities, which are under "an actual threat". PRAVDA is not in liberty to say if this was a slight or not.

While it is unusual for the STAVKA or the Red Army to directly contact the government of another country, the Red Army spokesman who provided all of this information to PRAVDA mentioned that the Supreme Soviet was busy dealing with a certain Karthspiri problem at the time, while comrade Khodorkovsky was returning from the city of Zürich. As such, comrade Golovko found himself at liberty to deliver the message through his own organisation. Comrade Khodorkovsky later twitted that he had no problem with this "initiative-driven, if unusual" course of action.

--------------------------------------------------

Treaty of Zürich ratified, "economic boom" in trade with the American continent.

The Treaty of Zürich has been signed by Comrade Khodorkovsky and President Callahan. The project, inspired by the detente eras of Khruschev and Afanasyev under which trade with America began to grow, as well as Alexander Bogdanov's "Theory of Mechanical Marxism" in which he called for "beating capitalism in its own game", has been in the workings for a long time now. Only now terms which are comfortable for both sides been established; in summary, tariffs between the two superpowers have been regulated, but some sectors like electronics, auto manufacturing and the digital service industry remain under the protection of both states. The sale of weaponry, except civilian arms, is also banned between the two countries. Soviet Representative-Executives and American CEOs seem to be responding well to the terms of the treaty, since many industries and companies have begun drawing out plans for trans-continental exports.

Some members of the Bolshevik old guard have expressed concern that this is a "betrayal of Soviet values", giving in to the globalist world order, and that importing American goods will destroy the worker's culture, endangering the spirit of the October Revolution. A fellow member of the Soviet of the Union and devout member of the Neo-Communist party replied; "We are the globalists, dumbass. Besides, if we are changed, they are also changed.

For American readers, though the Soviet Internal Digital Market is only usable by cooperatives and state charters under SOVCORP, PRAVDA will be soon publishing some of its offers and may place an order for you, at a low cost. Alternatively, you may form a cooperative in the United States and request for partial integration into SOVCORP. It doesn't need saying, but capitalist corporations will not be accepted, don't bother.

--------------------------------------------------

Kim Jong-Un: "The time has come for the Taiwanese people to be free." COMINTERN mobilises in the streets.

Kim Jong-Un, grandson of famous Korean guerilla commander Kim Il-Sung (who was known during World War II by Japanese forces as "THE TIGER") and president of the Fourth International, has called for action on the "Taiwanese Question". His exact words on today's speech were;

My grandfather fought for Korean freedom against the Japanese fascists, my father fought for Vietnamese freedom against the world's imperial-capitalist powers, and I have had the honour to fight for the freedom of the whole world through the Fourth International. The newest frontline of this permanent revolution of ours is now in Taiwan; the clerical fascist government of China has held the island hostage for too long. The time has come for the Taiwanese people to be free; they hold no sympathy for the Beijing regime and long for liberty. The Fourth International demands a referendum of independence! Workers of the world, unite! March into the streets and demand what deserves to be yours! Burn the police stations, the garrisons, th-

The YouTube broadcast cut off for a few moments due to technical issues. It was restored shortly after, Mr. Kim apologised in a charismatic manner for his "brash, though true to heart comments" and finished his speech to thunderous applause. As of now, numerous protests and marches in the island have already been scheduled by COMINTERN-associated groups.

--------------------------------------------------

Crude deposits discovered in the Chukchi Sea, Republic of Washington warned to "respect the Soviet EEZ".

Washingtonian geologists have discovered sizeable crude oil deposits off the shore of Alaska and the Chukotka Autonomous Okrug, in the region known as the Chukchi Sea. Despite concerns of Soviet heavy-handed intervention, no such threat has materialised. The Soviet Ministry of Foreign Affairs reportedly informed the Washingtonian government that it was "not a concern" as long as the Soviet Exclusive Economic Zone, as per the 1982 United Nations Convention on the Law of the Sea, is respected. This is including Soviet sovereignty over the Lomosonov Ridge, which is contested by Washington itself. However, the Ministry advises the Washingtonians to not drill in the Arctic as "there are little financial incentives for it, and many environmental concerns."

--------------------------------------------------

Kurchatov Institute T-18 Fusion Reactor experiment a "resounding success".

Yesterday night, the city of Moscow suffered from a blackout, but power came back after a while. Today, a spokesman of the State Committee for Science and Technology announced that the Kurchatov Institute's T-18 tokamak-design fusion reactor had been able to operate for an hour and 13 minutes, resulting in a resounding success beyond the economic breakeven. However, the reactor was hooked up to Moscow's energy infrastructure, and overloaded the system. Damages should be repaired by tomorrow, or earlier. According to the spokesman, the results of the experiment will be "critical" in the design of the "PROTO" commercial fusion reactor megaproject, to be built by all of the world's nuclear powers. T-18 was designed and constructed parallel to the DEMO reactor in Europe, with which it shares a large amount of components. However, unlike its European cousin, the T-18 was rushed into testing years ahead of schedule by the State Committee of Science and Technology. PRAVDA reminds you that nuclear fusion is safe and if Moscow becomes radioactive debris, it was most likely an American attack.

--------------------------------------------------

Karl Marx's purpose revealed, Leon Trotsky "multipurpose ship" begins orbital assembly.

In 2029, to thunderous applause, the "Karl Marx" space station's assembly was completed, at twice the size of the International Space Station. Such a feat was only possible due to the revival of the Energia project to compete with SpaceX's Falcon Heavy, in the form of the Energia III superheavy reusable rocket. The Neo-Communist Party's borderline obsession with "space communism" and improving economic conditions after the 2021 Superdepression may have also contributed. Though it contained some scientific equipment, its crew quarters and supplies storage were way too enormous for it to be a research station, and we were never really told what the thing truly was for. As you know, the Americans won the race to the Moon again in 2024, but that same year the SOVCORP-controlled Roscosmos state charter announced it had had "enough of this bullshit" and was going to "make Musk and NASA look like children". It appears the Karl Marx station is here to fulfill that purpose; the very same Roscosmos chief that dared challenge the Americans has announced today the true nature of the mysterious station.

-The crewmen are part of the Red Army, organised as the 1st Space Marines Company (which is really platoon-sized), making the Soviet Union the first country in history to permanently station a military unit in space. The one place uncorrupted by capitalism.

-The 1st Orbital Marines Company respond to the Space Force. They are all trained engineers whose mission set includes maintaining the station, constructing spacecraft, "reconnaissance" and defending Soviet spacecraft from intrusion. The Karl Marx station's computer systems can defend it through the use of four laser point defence systems and RCS manoeuvring.

However, the most exciting news is what the station is doing now. According to our Roscosmos chief, they are beginning construction of the first Leon Trotsky class "multipurpose ship". The design is similar to SpaceX's Starship HLS, which landed in the moon in 2024, but protects the crew very well from debris and radiation, "unlike the American tin can". Most importantly it can carry enough supplies and fuel for long manned voyages across the solar system, transport unprecedented amounts of cargo or land in numerous atmospheres. "However", he jokes, "it can only land in Earth once!"

The leading theory as to what the first ship (likely to be called Leon Trotsky) is going to do for its maiden voyage is a lunar landing, perhaps even establishing a permanent lunar station. However, an anonymous poster in the /sci/ board of 4chan who claims to be a high ranking Roscosmos engineer claims the Leon Trotsky will attempt to ferry space marines to Mars to "intercept" NASA in its schedule to do the same by 2033, a goal which was set by ex-president Donald J. Trump. It may be nothing but a hoax, as he also mentioned that the Leon Trotsky's blueprint contains "fire control systems" and "reloadable missile tubes", something which was not mentioned by Roscosmos or the Soviet government.

In marginally related news, the Roscosmos RedStars satellite constellation, developed to compete with SpaceX's Starlink, has just finished assembly in orbit. A few years behind, but next time we'll be up front!

Nordamy and Karthspirije

ContextReport