Post

Region: The Bar on the corner of every region

Pricane

3 years 22 days ago

The New Chaotic Coyotes

Brocklandia wrote:

Now, I know

Maple Hockey Canadia thinks no one would "volunteer" to judge the poetry contest, but I rather like being all judgmental. A chance to make you people cater to my whims and vie for my favor?--Dance, my little marionettes, dance!

Uh, no offense intended to anyone named Marion.

So, anyway, let's start off with an Honorable Mention, aka the "You Really Dodged a Bullet There" Award. This one goes to Pricane for this couplet, which missed charting only because Z-Day was months ago, and I don't want to encourage people who procrastinate and annoy Zombie Penguins, both of which are really my job, dammit. Well, congratulations anyway, Pricane, for doing my job almost as well as I do.

Home sweet home
Z-day was fun here

And that brings us to First Place, the position cursed ... uh, blessed with responsibility for judging the next contest. (Hmm. Maybe Maple Hockey Canadia was right.) Anyhoo, First Place lands like a hammer on ... Zany Zanes, for this one. Sorry, Zane, but somebody's gotta do it.

Loud and unexplainable noises are heard from the kitchen, like chanting and a kraken cowering in fear.
This goes on for about an hour and drives all but the bravest guests out of the bar.
The bartender walks out, drink in hand.
The drink itself is of a neon purple color, giving off a faint aura.
If one get close to it, can hear whispers of the damned as it fizzes.
Some of the fizz drips and hits the ground, melting spots of the floor like acid.

Handles the glass carefully about to set it down when they realize a lot has happened since last time.

Who won the slightly coveted Second Place, you're probably asking yourself--and if you weren't, please take a moment to do so. This week, we have a two-way tie for Second. So congrats, in no particular order, to PR Megaforce and Maple Hockey Canadia!

There once was a ranger
Fighting all sorts of danger
Who fell into a bar
Sipped some Nectar
And is now stuck as a teenager.

Nonetheless, here is a poem from up north, eh.
Please give me second place
I didn't come here from space
Isn't the whole point of mars
To avoid going near crazy interdimensional bars
Eh

Okay, I'm done, eh.

Which brings us--drum roll please!--to the highly coveted Third Place. I'd normally award it to myself, just because, but this time I decided to be magnanimous and hand it to someone else, and that someone else is Jehovahs witness! Congrats, JW, for stealing Third Place from my grasp!

Conquest
Is commercial
It's legitimate trade
And so to the highest bidder
Victory

Congrats to our Honorable Mention, Second, and Third Place winners! And my deepest sympathies to our First Place victim! Woo hoo!

_{All decisions are final. If you submitted a monetary bribe judgment gratuity, your account will be charged immediately, and all judgment gratuities are non-cancelable and nonrefundable.}

Haha thanks lol
_{I'm safe}

Brocklandia and Zany Zanes

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