The Union of New Unified German Republics is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by President-for-Life Fwootgummy with an iron fist, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, parental licensing program, and digital currency. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.254 billion New Germans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hillsburger. The average income tax rate is 95.7%.

The frighteningly efficient New German economy, worth a remarkable 1,415 trillion Bucks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Retail, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 195,091 Bucks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

T-shirts displaying a photo of President-for-Life Fwootgummy performing the Full-Monty are selling out, a typical fast food menu item could serve a small army, colonial citizens are forced to sing the praise of the "Great New German Liberator", and on-call doctors who check their pagers during movies are banned from cinemas for life. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New Unified German Republics's national animal is the Bear, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

New Unified German Republics is ranked 277,774^th in the world and 17,470^th in Chicken overlords for Most Primitive, scoring -307.2 on the Scary Big Number Scale.