The Free Republic of Nova Crna Gora na Sardiniji is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by the King of Urbino with an iron fist, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, compulsory vegetarianism, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 1.164 billion Nova Crna Gora na Sardinijians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, moralistic morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Urbino. The average income tax rate is 75.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Nova Crna Gora na Sardinijian economy, worth 49.5 trillion Euros a year, is highly specialized and led by the Door-to-door Insurance Sales industry, with major contributions from Woodchip Exports and Gambling. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 42,504 Euros, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Elections are outlawed and a hairstylist has recently received a government appointment, pocket dialling is a criminal offence, foragers descend on national cemeteries for 'all-you-can-dig-up' extravaganzas, and roads are often attended by round-the-clock construction crews. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Nova Crna Gora na Sardiniji's national animal is the Golden Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Montenegrin Orthodoxy.

Nova Crna Gora na Sardiniji is ranked 143,279^th in the world and 1,053^rd in Europe for Safest, scoring 62.07 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.