The Socialist Republic of Cuillin is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Madame Self with an even hand, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, smutty television, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, cheerful population of 23.615 billion Cuillinish are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Red Clydeside. The average income tax rate is 94.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Cuillinish economy, worth a remarkable 3,642 trillion work credits a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 154,266 work credits, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Peace talks occasionally rack up a higher body count than the wars they seek to stop, trade policy consists of ganging up on the new guy, the words 'private' and 'enterprise' must never appear in the same sentence, and Madame Self's media campaigns take a hiatus around exam week. Crime is totally unknown. Cuillin's national animal is the Giant Panda, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Marxism.

Cuillin is ranked 27,929^th in the world and 99^th in Forest for Lowest Crime Rates, with 84 law-abiding acts per hour.