by Max Barry

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The Daily Wanderings of Featured Hopper

“Anyone Seen A Carrot?”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Rare
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Few

Regional Influence: Zero

Location: Stellar Fields

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Featured Hopper

Population7.004 billion

CapitalCarrot City
Leaderthat scwewy wabbit

Currencycarrot
Animalhopper

The Daily Wanderings of Featured Hopper is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by that scwewy wabbit with an iron fist, and notable for its smutty television, ritual sacrifices, and state-planned economy. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.004 billion Featured Hoppers are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Carrot City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 92.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Featured Hopperian economy, worth a remarkable 1,769 trillion carrots a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Arms Manufacturing, Retail, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 252,606 carrots, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,099,742 per year while the poor average 36,724, a ratio of 29.9 to 1.

Science centers and state of the art laboratories are ubiquitous, TV shows must meet strict ethnicity quotas, religious bigotry is not allowed but bigotry against theism is encouraged, and students learn how to disarm mines before understanding basic arithmetic. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Featured Hopper's national animal is the hopper, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Featured Hopper is ranked 288,434th in the world and 16th in Stellar Fields for Most Beautiful Environments, with 3.03 pounds of wildlife per square mile.

Top
1%
Most Subsidized Industry: 471stMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 514thLargest Mining Sector: 975thLargest Retail Industry: 1,889thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2,146thLargest Black Market: 2,477thMost Corrupt Governments: 2,855thTop
5%
Most Efficient Economies: 3,427thMost Patriotic: 3,522ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 3,665thMost Avoided: 4,063rdMost Primitive: 4,686thMost Armed: 4,689thFattest Citizens: 4,717thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4,735thHighest Average Incomes: 5,281stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 6,529thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 7,320thLargest Governments: 7,403rdRudest Citizens: 7,655thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 8,189thHighest Average Tax Rates: 8,568thMost Devout: 10,223rdNudest: 12,435thMost Ignorant Citizens: 12,592ndLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 14,326thTop
10%
Highest Economic Output: 14,881stLowest Crime Rates: 16,982ndMost Advanced Public Education: 24,883rd
Top
10%
Most Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Devout: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 1st in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 1st in the region

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