by Max Barry

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The State of Telgan

“Bread for all ... before cake for anybody.”

Category: Civil Rights Lovefest
Civil Rights:
Frightening
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
World Benchmark

Regional Influence: Envoy

Location: Philosophers

OverviewMapFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Telgan

Population22.945 billion

CapitalAirstip One
LeaderMustapha Mond

CurrencyDe Beers Diamond
AnimalHuman

The State of Telgan is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Mustapha Mond with a fair hand, and renowned for its complete lack of prisons, rampant corporate plagiarism, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 22.945 billion Telganites hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Airstip One. The average income tax rate is 98.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Telganian economy, worth a remarkable 4,143 trillion De Beers Diamonds a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 180,581 De Beers Diamonds, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

It turns out you can teach cats new tricks, blackface performers claim they are being deliberately ironic, airport announcements inform passengers that flights have been delayed because pilots are having afternoon naps, and animal control is going door-to-door releasing all pets back into the wild. Crime is totally unknown. Telgan's national animal is the Human, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Telgan is ranked 290,435th in the world and 168th in Philosophers for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -36.86 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Most Rebellious Youth: 757thMost Cheerful Citizens: 1,180thMost Advanced Public Transport: 1,358thMost Cultured: 1,385thLargest Welfare Programs: 1,581stMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1,681stNicest Citizens: 1,686thMost Pacifist: 1,691stLeast Corrupt Governments: 1,692ndMost Beautiful Environments: 1,799thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1,830thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,892ndMost Compassionate Citizens: 1,959thHighest Food Quality: 1,969thMost Developed: 1,997thMost Advanced Public Education: 2,044thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 2,412thLongest Average Lifespans: 2,479thHealthiest Citizens: 2,604thHighest Average Tax Rates: 2,743rdSmartest Citizens: 2,751stTop
5%
Best Weather: 3,212thLargest Governments: 3,555thMost Inclusive: 3,657thMost Subsidized Industry: 3,773rdMost Efficient Economies: 4,270thHighest Economic Output: 4,585thMost Valuable International Artwork: 4,689thMost Influential: 5,112thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 5,477thLargest Publishing Industry: 5,595thHighest Poor Incomes: 6,884thSafest: 7,685thMost Scientifically Advanced: 8,706thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 10,792ndLargest Populations: 11,566thHighest Average Incomes: 13,872ndMost Secular: 14,534thTop
10%
Most Extensive Civil Rights: 24,726th
Top
1%
Nicest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Cultured: 1st in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Food Quality: 1st in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 1st in the regionTop
5%
Longest Average Lifespans: 2nd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 2nd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 2nd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 2nd in the regionMost Pacifist: 2nd in the regionMost Developed: 2nd in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 2nd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 2nd in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 3rd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 3rd in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 3rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 3rd in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 4th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 4th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 4th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 4th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 4th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 5th in the regionLargest Governments: 5th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 5th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 5th in the regionMost Inclusive: 5th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 6th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 6th in the regionBest Weather: 6th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 7th in the regionMost Politically Free: 7th in the regionLargest Populations: 8th in the regionTop
10%
Highest Average Incomes: 9th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 9th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 10th in the regionSafest: 12th in the regionMost Influential: 13th in the regionMost Extreme: 15th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Telgan endorsed The Federation of Sepharoth.
  • : Telgan updated the World Factbook entry in Philosophers.
  • : Telgan voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Repeal "Sustainable Forest Management"".
  • : Telgan lodged a message on the Philosophers Regional Message Board.
  • : Telgan suppressed a post on the Philosophers Regional Message Board.
  • : Telgan suppressed a post on the Philosophers Regional Message Board.
  • : Telgan was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Advanced Public Education, Highest Foreign Aid Spending, Most Beautiful Environments, Highest Food Quality, and Most Valuable International Artwork.
  • : Telgan lodged a message on the Philosophers Regional Message Board.
  • : Telgan was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Poor Incomes.
  • : Telgan voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Declaration Against Slavery and its Violence".

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