The Theocracy of Aawia is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Kenneth Brown with an even hand, and remarkable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, zero percent divorce rate, and unlimited-speed roads. The compassionate, devout population of 25.627 billion Aawians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass — juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sweaters. The average income tax rate is 96.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Aawian economy, worth a remarkable 3,274 trillion Aawis a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Furniture Restoration, Information Technology, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 127,762 Aawis, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The price of takeaway food quadruples after 6pm, corporate lawyers are joyfully combing through the new tax code for any new loopholes for their clients, pushy mums tell their kids to be doctors and engineers but steer them away from being penniless lawyers, and the government has an entire department dedicated to staring at microscopes and writing down letters. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Aawia's national animal is the woodpecker, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christianity.

Aawia is ranked 5,709^th in the world and 8^th in Right to Life for Lowest Crime Rates, with 113.28 law-abiding acts per hour.